


Hey Brother do you Still Believe in One Another

by KitschKit



Series: Drunk with Cats [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Physical Abuse, Self-Discovery, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 21:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3503801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitschKit/pseuds/KitschKit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey Sister do you believe in love I wonder?</p><p>Drunk with Cats side story. The Dakota twins backstory, more South centric than anything</p><p>Their relationship hadn't always been so strained, and it wasn't once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Brother do you Still Believe in One Another

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm I tried really hard to make this as accurate as possible to the feelings one goes through, but I am a cis girl, so I'm very very sorry if it offends anyone.  
> I listened to Hey Brother by Avicii while writing this, and I recommend giving it a listen, title is taken from the song.

Dakota never had a problem with her name. It was girly and as a kid, she had been made fun of for that. But that was fine it toughened her up, and really that was nothing compared to the harassment she got now.

The nicknames had come soon after anyway. Being with her identical twin in every class, it was almost impossible to distinguish the two until they opened their mouths. But she was the one with the 'bad attitude' and her brother was calm and patient, so they became North and South. She had liked that better, because no one was making fun of her for her girly name then.

She hit a certain point though. She'd never quite felt right in her own skin to begin with, but then puberty hit. She felt worse. Her voice cracked, she was angry about nothing, she grew hair everywhere. It was gross and uncomfortable and she hated every second of it. But she was taught that was normal, that everything she was feeling was normal, it was just a phase, and she'd eventually grow into it, feel like she was normal. Nevermind the rest of it. When she looked in the mirror all she saw was a mass of unappealing anger. She felt ugly and undesirable and so so angry. But she could look at her brother, who still looked exactly like her, maybe a little taller, and objectively say he was an attractive guy, or as attractive as anyone could be going through puberty. Still, just a phase.

Then she started noticing people. Girls were the first thing she noticed, they were cute and soft and a lot of the girls she talked to liked the same things she did; fighting and rough housing and getting dirty. And it was ok that was allowed because she was Dakota, the girly boy, she could have lots of girl friends and think they were pretty. The way their hips kind of swayed gently, the way their voices could be so soft but still passionate and with an edge. They were beautiful and respected and smart and she was jealous that they could do so much. She remembers one time, one of her friends had started to get breasts and she couldn’t stop staring. Her friend had laughed and called her a pervert, but that wasn’t it. It was different than that, there was something about them... She remembers her mother asking her when she brought home one of her friends if they were 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. It was okay to like girls, it was always okay. But then she started noticing boys.

South was very not okay with herself, but other boys, other boys were cute. She didn't get it at first, when she brought one of her boy friends home, and her mother didn't ask if they were dating. She didn't get why her mom thought it was cute when she kissed a girl on the cheek, but then the moment she saw her do the same to a boy, it was wrong.

She cried a lot that night, her parents screaming and getting it into her head that everything she felt was wrong, that that was bad, and she didn't understand how they could hate something that she was, that she was utterly alone and so helpless and god didn’t that make her blood boil. She was just so confused about everything she was feeling and she wanted to understand it, needed help, but no, she couldn’t feel this way. She remembers that night even better, North crawled into her bed, tangled their limbs together and just shushed her softly, whispering into her ear that he liked boys too.

It was unexplainable, her need to prove herself to her parents. But she did, and she kept being wrong. Kissing boys and thinking they were attractive was wrong, kissing girls too much was wrong. She couldn't keep up. Even as they got older, on particularly bad nights, South would crawl into bed with her big brother and he'd hug her and let her cry.

High school was absolute hell. Everyone was starting to grow out of their awkward phases and into themselves, or discovering themselves. South was just angry and confused. She took up boxing and wrestling, trying to get all of her aggression out. She just got angrier when she got hard from all the testosterone pumping through her and fought harder.

North was surprisingly the one that rebelled against their parents. She just wanted to please them, earn their approval, have their love. North had enough of that though, he was loved and accepted by pretty much everyone. It was hard not too when he was so damn sweet and caring and nice. But he yelled and fought with their parents, joined some lgbt+ group. She was pissed at him, here she was trying so damn hard to be the perfect son, repressing herself and her wants all to be the best. How dare he fucking abandon her with that pressure.

She remembers the first night that there were physical blows. Her father was drunk, and North had come home with hickies on his neck and he proudly stated they were from a boy. He had hit him, no problem, and South only stood there stunned. North had stood there for a minute, everyone frozen, but then he had growled and punched back. Their mother had started screaming and crying and South couldn't move, couldn't breathe as she watched her family fall apart and hit each other. In their room that night, she had cried and tried to help him ice his bruises, everything looked so bad. Everything was so bad. He had smiled and whispered it was okay, he knew she couldn't do anything, it was safer for her not to anyway. He had told her he was leaving the second he could.

For their sixteenth birthday, North got a truck. She resented it, because yet again, even though she was trying so hard for them, he was still  better in their eyes. She got over it though, she got plenty from them that day. They took her out to see a live mixed martial arts fight, and she was pretty sure she fell in love with the sport, knew what she wanted to be when she was older.

North got a job, no one knew, no one guessed, everyone just thought he was trying to get out of the house. It just left South with even more pressure and she tried and tried so hard to get her parents to be happy. He always had the truck, he always came back to bring South wherever when she needed it, but he wasn't there.

The night they turned eighteen, North packed up everything he owned and put it in the truck. He kissed her forehead and told her he'd be back in the morning to pick her up, she should pack up too, but he wasn't going to stay there anymore, so he'd go over today and get everything set up. She told him not to bother, and ran to their suddenly empty room and cried.

They had never been seen as separate people, they had been lumped together for their entire lives and now he was leaving her. At least when they had been lumped together, North was seen as the mature one, the one that could be trusted. Now she was in the spotlight. Her parents attention was suddenly all on her and they made damn sure she was a good straight boy. Everything was strict, and she let it be, because she loved them, and needed them, and how else was she going go through college the way she wanted to.

She ignored North at school, started looking into MMA. And then they graduated and that was it, she was alone, she was her own person. She started going to tournaments, used that as a way to get spending money while her parents still supported her. Her parents were careful with her in her first two years of college. She knew a few people, she knew her brother was around, but she was careful to stay away, and never bring anyone around.

It was around then she met Lee Rawley. Lee was a pilot, and really the only reason she was going to college was to finish her AA and then she was done. She actually had her own helicopter, took people on tours in them, and she had a little plane too, she let people skydive from it. Both her vehicles were marked 479, so it just became her nickname. 479er. South parent's seemed to like her well enough, so they ended up hanging out quite often. It was at the end of the two years that her parents started relaxing. She went out had a good time, and then...she saw North. She hated to admit, but she did miss him. She would have never gone over to him, but 479er was with him, and motioning her over, so she had hesitantly gone up to the group of people. They stared at each other for a few moments before they embraced and then that was it. They were a team again.

It turned out that the group of people he had been with that day were all part of a LGBT group. And really she couldn't bring herself to care enough, because she had her brother back, and there it was, the discovery of a lifetime. Transgender. She listened to some of the other members, some girl named Cali and a guy named Vermont, as they talked about how hard it was, and how much better things were with hormones and surgery. They had both had it good, Cali's mothers had been very accepting at a young age and let her go on hormone blockers. She hadn't had to go through the gross changes South had, didn't have to deal with not being accepted. Cali had waited, gotten therapy and at 17 had started hormones. Now she had exactly what she needed, she was comfortable with herself and who she was. Vermont on the other hand, he hadn't had quite as east of a time. He didn't really realize why he was so uncomfortable until he was older, and his parents just told him he was a lesbian. His mom had eventually come around gotten him therapy, his dad had fought it the whole way until he saw the certificates and talked with the therapists.  he'd had at least half the surgery he'd needed and felt better, but he was going to wait until technology had advanced to finish up.

She went home, and she researched; cried in relief through the hours and hours of videos on youtube, looked at waist cinchers and drag queens explaining how to tuck, and she got herself a therapist. She told herself that she wasn't trans, even if she kind of hoped that was the diagnosis, that there were other reasons, but it was hard lying to herself now that she had a name to go with the way she felt. The therapist agreed. She kept all this secret from her parents though, never told them. She wasn't ready to. She just secretly got feminine clothing and makeup, spent even more time watching tutorials on how to put on eyeliner and match colors, figuring out what the hell winter and summer colors were and how that would affect things, she even started using moisturizer, trying to get softer, more feminine skin, and just that was so much better. By the time she was ready to actually start hormones, she still hadn't said anything to her parents. So she started in secret. She waited a few weeks, and her parents very definitely noticed the changes starting to take place. They had called one of their relatives, an aunt out in the country, and made her stay.

Her aunt was actually not as terrible as she thought though. She was a kind woman, good morals, and worked hard to maintain her farm. She listened to South's side of the story, and promised to let her continue hormones, they'd just keep it a secret from her parents, and then they'd go get things. It didn't work for long, her voice changed too much, and they came and got her. That night was the worst of her life. They hit her and screamed, told her how fucked up she was and in the end, they locked her in an empty room and left her crying. She texted her brother, left him a voicemail. She really wasn't sure how long they left her in there for, but the next thing she knew, North was there and he was screaming and fighting and quickly gathered some of her things, rescued her from the closet once he realized she was still in there, and carried her to his truck. He sped off and brought her to his apartment. The next couple of days consisted of him buying new furniture for her and getting the rest of her things. She wouldn't let him call the cops. And then one morning, he woke her up with breakfast in bed and kissed her forehead, whispering happy birthday and telling her they were going shopping.


End file.
